TTTS Update 01.12.18 – Second Procedure

Yesterday we had the second and final procedure. The TTTS surgery was traumatic, but this one was almost just as bad. The waiting is what gets me every time. I tried to stay calm, but the longer I sat there, the more worked up I got.

This was a very new experimental treatment too and that didn’t really help my nerves. It’s called an amniopatch and my specialist had only preformed this two other times.

They spent the entire previous day prepping for it. Sending supplies in. Getting the blood particles. Calling the doctors in California and Europe who had preformed it before.

That morning they took the bandage off of my incision from surgery. I about flipped out. “Wait.” “I need that.” “Won’t it bust open?” The poor nurse. It took her about 10 minutes to convince me that she wasn’t robbing me and it would be ok.

I showered with orange soap and a chair. Nate called it my throne. Then I sat in the bed and waited for an hour … and then another hour. Some of the time I was calm, but some of the time tears spilled down my cheeks. Finally, the team started arriving. Huge needles and syringes started appearing everywhere and there where more people than the room could hold. It tuned into a small OR.

I started heaving. People kept telling me not to be afraid of the needles. They said I wouldn’t feel them.  I never did, but I wanted to say, “I’m not afraid of the needles. I’m not afraid the doctor won’t do it right. I’m afraid for my babies. I’m afraid they won’t make it. I’m afraid my heart will break.”

The tech started to sonogram my belly. The nurses prepped the materials. Then the doctor started cleaning my incision site. They didn’t go into the same spot, but right next to it. Right as he was about to start he gently leaned in and told me I needed to be completely calm. No crying. No heaving. My babies lives depended on it.

My bravery was all gone. I just didn’t have any left. I couldn’t force my shaking body to hold completely still and I wasn’t allowed any medication.

I turned my worship music on through my headphones and started trying to think of anything that might bring calm back into my body. The songs were helping and I was able to be relatively still as the doctor stuck the first needle in. OUCH. Then it came out and I wasn’t supposed to feel anything else, but I did. I felt two more needles going in and some liquid spilling out.

The fear was equaled by pain. Finally, a single thought crossed my mind. I was asking God for strength and bravery and I thought of Christ and how he went to the cross for his children. He went with perfect bravery and strength. He did what he needed to do to save the children he loved so much. That thought brought the peace I so needed. Jesus could do it and would give me the strength to do it too.

They completed the procedure and left. I didn’t feel happy or sad. I didn’t feel relieved or anxious. I didn’t feel tired or awake. I just stared at the wall and felt nothing. It was good that it was all over, but bad that there was nothing else we could do to fight TTTS. I had felt so much over the past week that I just couldn’t process anymore.

I rested all of that day and then was scanned one last time this morning before leaving the hospital. Both were STILL ALIVE and both had IMPROVED. Praise God!! We still won’t know for sure until the middle of next week when we go back in to check the patch.

This week will be one of waiting and prayer. My mom was able to fly out and will be with us as I’m on bed rest and can do nothing at all.

Praises

  1. That we still have two live babies.
  2. That the second procedure went well.
  3. That the babies already improved.

Prayer Requests

  1. That the patch works.
  2. That I do not get infected from my waters being broken or go into labor.
  3. That best rest would go well this coming week.
  4. That God would bring peace and rest to our weary souls.

25 Responses to TTTS Update 01.12.18 – Second Procedure

  1. Elisabeth says:

    I don’t know you and only just discocered your IG and followed it here. Praying for you and your husband and sweet babies.

  2. Debra Chester says:

    Praying for all of your prayer requests

  3. Debbie Lewis says:

    Praying for the girls and for perfect peace for you and NAte.

  4. Debbie Lewis says:

    Praying for the girls and for perfect peace for you and NAte.

  5. Megan Anthony says:

    Ryan and Rose tagged y’all in her story yeaterday saying y’all needed prayers. After I started following you I realized y’all live in Lubbock, and so do my husband, daughter, and I! Sending lots of prayers and love for y’all!

  6. Tisa says:

    The strength you have shown is amazing. Praise God that he calmed you and has brought you ALL through this. Praying for continued healing for you and your babies. May God wrap His loving arms around you and your entire family.

  7. Linda King says:

    I am glued to the progress and amazed at what God is doing. These little girls are going to have quite a testimony. Hannah, you are so good at telling the story and keeping us informed. There are so many of us praying for your family.

  8. Pati Beatty says:

    Hannah, it is so awesome you compared your situation with our Savior in saving his children. You are one amazing, strong young lady. I pray for you to feel Christ’s arms wrapped around you, your babies, your husband, and your daughter. Also I pray for your moms, I know this is so difficult for them too. Feel the peace only our Lord can give…

    • Hannah says:

      It was truly the Lord that led my mind to Calvary. Thank you so much for the kind words and prayers!

  9. Annaleigh Thiessen says:

    Hannah, I don’t know you. My husband and I both attended West Harpeth with Nate. I just want you to know that we have been lifting you all up. My heart is just broken for you and feeling so deeply what you are going through; we are walking alongside your family in prayer. Much love!

    • Hannah says:

      Nate was able to fill me in on who y’all are. Thank you for following and caring. And thank you even more for the prayers. They are the only thing left to do now as we wait.

  10. Heidi Fraser says:

    I am praying for you, Hannah. How the Lord gave you the ability to be calm thinking on Christ and His work for us is a beautiful testimony. May you continue to receive the grace you need for each day<3

    • Hannah says:

      Thank you Heidi. I know if He allows the trial He also gives the grace to walk through it. And when my strength fails He will carry me. And thank you for the prayers! They mean the world to us.

  11. Abigail says:

    Someone linked me to your Instagram this morning- they knew, through my book that we’d been through TTTS and that we will pray…
    I am praying for you and your sweet babies. They are loved by Heavenly Father! So are you! Will be following your updates!

    • Hannah says:

      TTTS is such a difficult thing to walk through. I know my husband and I will always pray for others walking this hard road. I’m so sorry you did too. Can I ask the outcome of your story? Thank you so much for your prayers!

  12. Collette Ellenberger says:

    You are one brave, young woman. God was surrounding you during your procedure and continues to hold you and your family, with his love. Your writing is fantastic and well put together. Always interesting, yet, sad. Love to all of you, Aunt Coco

    • Hannah says:

      Thank you Aunt Coco for the kind words. I’ve never taken a writing class or course of any kind so I’m honestly surprised that my writing isn’t terrible. Haha. Thank you for the love.

  13. Jenny says:

    Pleading with our Heavenly Father for your peace, courage & joy that only He can offer. What a valiant & beautiful woman you are. How lucky these sweet girls are to have you forever as their mother. Prayers for the desires of your heart to be brought to pass.

    • Hannah says:

      Thank you so much for the prayers. They mean the world to us.
      And thank you for the kind and encouraging words. They touch my heart.

  14. Pastor Jake says:

    Praying over these two precious gifts from God. From San Diego with love.

  15. I work with your dad at Accordance. Our whole staff has been praying for weeks for you constantly. Your blog is heartwrenching, but encouraging at the same time. We are in this together with you.

    • Hannah says:

      Oh thank you so much! Having total strangers lift us up in prayer it truly touching. There’s still a long, uphill battle, but prayer helps so much!

  16. Luci Fittro says:

    Hi Hannah,
    We’ve never met in person, but I’ve spent a lot of time with your family in this last year. I have been praying for you and your baby girls since I heard there was a problem, but nothing I heard could have fully made me appreciate what you have been going through in these last weeks. Thank you for sharing your story with me, and I continue to plead to God with you for your daughters.
    Your faith in God is so strong, and I know that that is all that can carry us through difficult times like this. May you continue to grow in faith as you walk this difficult journey.
    Love from Florida,
    Luci💕

    • Hannah says:

      Luci,
      We haven’t met, but I’ve heard about you too! All good things I should add. 🙂
      Thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. They mean the world to us during this difficult time.
      He has indeed carried us. There were times my bravery and strength we all spent, but His wasn’t. He had truly been gracious towards us and we pray He continues to work miracles.